Friday, December 30, 2011

Cultivating Gratitude



Expectations...

If you don't clearly communicate what they are (and add some practice role-playing in for the littles) disaster and disappointment can ensue...

I've had to chase down a certain 3 year old more times than I care to admit because I didn't clearly communicate before hand proper etiquette at the park.

So I've made a regular practice of RELATING expectations and REHEARSING proper behavior before we go anywhere!

Relate, Rehearse, repeat

This Christmas provided yet another opportunity to do just that.  We wanted to work with our boys on gratitude when it came to receiving gifts.  So on Christmas morning, before any gifts were opened we huddled close and I laid out the game plan:

We would open gifts, one at a time.  Afterwards they were to seek out the person who gave them the gift, look them in the eye (because they are famous for shouting a thanks, but not making eye contact) and thank them specifically for the gift.  "Thank you for _______.  I'm so excited to do ____ with it!"  As a physical expression of their thanks, a big bear hug was in order.

Since we have been making a habit of pausing and thanking God for his many gifts to us, we explained that this is a natural extension to pause and thank the person who gave us a gift...

Throughout all of the 'training' I've found it also important to season everything I do with regular reminders to the boys on 'WHY' we are doing what we are doing.  Jesus outlined the two greatest commandments when He said:

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.
This is the first and greatest commandment. 
And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Matthew 22:37-39

It is important for them to understand that everything we do is an act of worship and and opportunity to bring glory to God.  Additionally, these are opportunities to show love and respect for others.

And I have to say, I think the fruit of our little training session that morning was one of the biggest highlights of my day!  They were so adorable at our home as they put this into practice.  The excitement and gratitude were contagious.  Brothers giving each other bear hugs and getting held tight myself with beautiful eyes looking deep into mine made for a memorable morning.

Of course, they needed frequent reminders once we joined up with extended family and the distractions exponentially increased.  But overall it was so exciting to see so much growth!

We've been busy over here - trying to pull myself back into gear and still faithfully teaching and training my wonderful boys in addition to caring for the baby.  I'm in overhaul mode intentional training has been taking a growing role in our home that had grown lax in the first weeks after the baby.  So I've been taking the principles of RELATE and REHEARSE into many aspects of our lives...

Putting toys away, tidying up their room, going to the library, learning to listen for my voice and respond, and most recently in preparing for our upcoming trip to Disney World.  In fact, just today we rehearsed proper etiquette for visiting the doctor which made for a smooth trip taking my sweet little Greta in today.

And throughout all of this, I repeat my oft repeated mommy mantra...

training takes time, training takes time, training takes time.

I'm so thankful for the precious rewards that pop up in the process!

Where have you found it helpful to prepare and train your children?

3 comments:

  1. Once again, so very good! The training you have described is ultra beneficial to everyone: children, parents and all bystanders. I am always amazed by how much better Arthur does in a situation when I have given him a heads up before hand. You'd think I would have learned to do this more frequently by now!!

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  2. I do the very same thing. I know it is so helpful and yet it is so easy to forget...

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  3. I find that activities go so much smoother when I've set the expectation with the girls. Even if it's just in the car right before we go inside a friend's house, telling them, "When I say it's time to go, it's time to go. We will see them another time. We will be here for x hours."

    Love your posts, Heather. I'm so glad you're back in the swing of things.

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